Where your kidney has gone

July 2006

"Shhh. Don't make too much noise when we get in there alright, Faith? Your mommy's tired and needs some peace."

"But...but...Mommy has been sleeping for so long! She didn't even wake up for my birthday party last week."

Jansen lowered himself to his daughter's level. "Baby, I hope you won't blame your mommy for that," he began. "Remember how mommy used to have to clean her blood using that machine we have at home every day? Well, its not working anymore. Mommy needs a new kidney.

"Where do new kidney's come from?" Faith inquired. "Darling, I'll tell you when we get home ok? Let's go in and tell mommy how much we love her first."

They entered the ward where Lindsay had lain for the past 4 weeks. It was a reasonable-sized room with a single bed and an attached toilet. A large window let the afternoon sun in, perhaps serving as a reminder that the beautiful world beyond the beige-coloured walls of the hospital still existed; that the world hadn't stopped.

It pained Jansen to see his wife in this state. What had happened to the beautiful cheerful girl he married? There she is a voice inside his head whispered. Her kidneys were already failing when you met her. Nothing has changed.Except that everything had changed.

Shortly after they married 6 years ago, Lindsay's kidney function deteriorated to the point where she needed dialysis. She had been diagnosed with Type I diabetes at 5 and kidney damage was almost unavoidable. But apart from the need to be hooked up to the a machine by bubble-tea-straw-sized needles for 4 hrs 3 times a week, she lived a regular life.

And he loved her. They planned to have children together and went to their specialist to discuss a management plan for Lindsay's pregnancy.

"There is no way I'm going to let you carry a child in your current condition!" they were told. It was too late. Lindsay discovered a month later that she was 6 weeks pregnant. 8 months later, Faith was born. Faith, a reminder of what they needed most.

Now Faith was 5. She was a big girl. Everyone told her so. But no one told her what to expect when she entered the room. It had been 2 weeks since she last saw her mother. Her dad had a full time job so she had been sent to live with her grandparents in the country.

The last time she saw her mother, she looked normal, even though the doctors had said her kidneys were not working. Now, her skin looked yellowish and her legs appeared twice their normal size. Did kidney failure make one fat?

"Mom?"

"Mom, can you hear me?"

Lindsay struggled to open her eyes. "Y..Yes baby...How was your birthday party yesterday?

August 2006

A kidney became available and the transplant took place within 24 hrs.

December 2006

Lindsay woke with a start, only to find Faith's large hazelnut eyes pouring into hers. A cheeky grin lit up her face - she had rolled up a piece of tissue and tickled her mom's nose with it as she slept on the verdant grass under a tree. Summer had just arrived and the young girl had been pestering her mom to take her out for a picnic with gran and gramps.

Lindsay wiped the sweat from her brow and sat up. Faith jumped back in alarm, missing Lindsay's grip by inches.

"You can't catch me!" she teased, laughing and running toward the lake on the other side.

"Oh yea? We'll see about that!"

"Can you see that?" Jenny turned to her husband Phillip, poking a long thin finger in his side excitedly. "Wha?" he grunted, casting his eyes in the direction of her other finger.

The old couple sat in silence, watching their daughter and granddaughter race across the slopes.

That evening, after dinner, Phillip retired to his study to take a call from David, Lindsay's brother who lived in the States. His voice was quiet and strained, "...son, I wish you were here today...Lindsay...she..she ran. Its been over 20 years...I...I didn't think I'd see that again in this lifetime." Beads of tears rolled down his cheeks, staining the handwritten thank-you letter for the donors' family.

That's where your kidney has gone.

Disclaimer: Names have been changed for confidentiality reasons.