the harm of help

so someone you care deeply about is struggling with something which you are well-equipped to help them with. how much help would you give? would you just sit back and wait till they ask for help? what if you know that they won't ever ask. is it more morally questionable to watch them descend deeper into the abyss or to swoop in and start directing the set? and then there's the issue of feelings. how do you extend a helping hand without hurting the person's ego and stuff? and when the person takes your hand but is unable to get a firm grip because of distractions, how far would you go to hold on to them? would you risk making the person momentarily unhappy for happiness in the long run? if so, what if the person doesn't see what you see in the 'long run'?

love is tough. but isn't tough love tougher?

how much is too much?